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My Top 11 Favorite Halloween Movies

Don't expect to see any slasher/gore movies here. I hate blood and gore and I really don't like most horror films in general (a few exceptions, of course, that make it worth fast-forwarding through the gross, but they won't be here). My Halloween movie tastes lean more towards family/kids, to be honest, but I wouldn't have it any other way. So here they are, in no particular order save for #1.
Why Top 11? Because I like to go one step beyond. =)Collapse )

Friends Only!

Only because I'd like my true identity to be protected- not because I've had any reason to worry, it's more a 'can't be too careful' thing. I've never had people blowing up my inbox with requests to be friends, but if you wanna, just comment and I'll probably add you. Unless you look suspicious, in which case, I won't. =)

My 5 Guilty Pleasure Movies

I honestly don't know what compelled me to write this. I saw it done on another website, I started thinking about what my list would comprise of, one thing led to another, and now I'm jotting them down in a livejournal post. I thought it might be fun, and anyone who winds up reading this is welcome to post their list, as well as their reasoning, in a comment.

1. Twilight

I'd like to make it clear that I do not consider myself a Twilight fan or "Twihard" as they are sometimes referred to. I was never particularly drawn to the series to begin with, but after the movie came out, my morbid curiosity got the better of me. I actually rented it for the first time back in June, and needless to say, it was pretty faithful to the novels (meaning it was hilariously melodramatic, stupid, shallow, and pointless). However, there was something inescapably entertaining about the horrid acting, the breathy, syrupy dialogue, the baroque-painting-esque cinematogrophy, and the soundtrack, which happens to not suck all that hard.
Now, the book is awful to the point that its unbearable and never, at any part, falls under the category of "so bad it's good". There's something redeeming about the movie, however, that makes me yearn to watch it every now and then. I enjoy seeing Kristen Stewart attempt to act as a character void of personality, Robert Pattinson intentionally over-play Edward so that he looks like the big, possessive, creepy weirdo douchebag that he truly is, and the movie take itself extremely seriously even while everything about it is laughable and ridiculous. It's great for late-night homework procrastination and goes well with tortilla chips and ale.

2. 10 Things I Hate About You
This is, arguably, one of the least shameful movies one could have on a guilty pleasure list. I'm not particularly ashamed of the fact that I also consider it one of my favorite films of all time, though a part of me often feels like I should be. So what makes this movie a guilty pleasure? I think the biggest offender and perhaps one of the most endearing qualities of this film is the dialogue. It's cheesier than value menu Taco Bell nachos and I have yet to decide whether it's a parody of "teen speak" or a grossly overdone attempt to mimic it. Either way, it makes me laugh. Also, I'm a big sucker for the Kat and Patrick love story (which I think everyone can agree surpasses the Bianca/Cameron thing by far). I love unexpected, unconventional love stories such as theirs with characters that are relatable and seemingly real. I think that sort of on-screen relationship is more plausible and easier to identify with than the typical, shallow, formulaic romantic-comedy crap with Hugh Grant.
I can't say, exactly, what makes this movie so addictive to me, but I do know that it's entertaining, funny, sweet, and simple. It has basically everything I could want in a movie, and like a fast-food dollar menu, satisfies with something a bit cheap, but familiar.

3. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
So, again, this movie isn't particularly shameful. I don't think I'd ever admit that it was one of my favorites in general company, but I'm definitely not cringing as I expose it as a contender for my guilty pleasures. This movie is, technically, a romantic comedy. But it sooo different from the typical crap. For one, Nia Vardalos does not fall under the category of "Generic, Pre-Packaged, American Beauty" like so many other romantic comedy starlets. She's bubbly, charismatic, identifiable, and very real. Also, a lot more entertaining to watch than Sandra Bullock (though she's kinda cool too) or Cameron Diaz. Also, this movie has a lot more going for it than just the story of the couple. It's really a story about family and self-confidence, with a sweet romance thrown in.
It's fun to watch the antics of the Greek family and to see Nia's character react annoyed or mortified, depending upon the situation. All-in-all, it's a fun, feel-good watch with some good laughs. I've seen this movie a hundred times and I know, for certain, that it will never lose its entertainment value for me.

4. The Super Mario Bros. Movie
This movie was released in 1993, but it has a very thick, undeniably cheesy, mid-eighties feel to it. I can't say what the feeling is comprised of, exactly, but it probably has something to do with the fakey sets/effects, the shoulder pads, and the silly dialogue with as many forced punchlines as a late eighties, early nineties sitcom. It was released at a time when Super Nintendo and the Mario Bros. games were really taking off with the young folk, and I suppose creating a movie that could generate even more cash-cow profit seemed only logical. When it was finally released, however, it was met with mostly opposition and disappointment. Today, even, many people still consider this film as a prime example of why video games should not be made into movies.
I think the biggest mistake the creators made was deviating too far from the video game plotline itself. Often, this happens in video game movies. One or two main characters are kept on for identity's sake, but the rest of the story is completely warped and changed and the only thing left intact of the original characters from the game are their names. This is definitely the case in this film, where Mario and Luigi are made into Brooklyn plumbers that are struggling to keep up the family business while faced with a huge competitor. They meet Daisy, who Luigi immediately falls for (I'm not sure whether or not Princess Daisy existed in the games at this point in time). She turns out to be a Princess with a valuable rock for the dinosaur people underground, and so she's kidnapped and taken there. Luigi and Mario have to save her and prevent King Koopa from getting her rock (because if he does, he can merge the dinosaur-people world with the regular people world). Again, I think most fans at this point would have preferred a cartoon with Italian voice actors for the Mario Bros, and the setting to be the Mario World, not Brooklyn.
But I enjoyed it. I like Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo and I think they were excellent choices for the characters. The movie is, obviously, not a heavy watch. It's fun, entertaining, at times witty (or just giggle inducing), and it never really takes itself too seriously. I don't know, it's just a fun watch and every now and again, I feel like watching it to put me in a better mood.

But I'm pretty sure this movie didn't generate the cash-cow profit they were looking for.

5. My Best Friend Is a Vampire
This movie is pretty weird, for a lot of reasons. For one, its' inexplicably set in downtown Houston, Texas, which is actually really cool for me because that's where I grew up and lived up until a year ago. Still, it seems pretty random, given that the only other movies set in Houston are usually done so for a reason. I mean, Houston is not some versatile place like New York City, where any old shit can go down. Oh no, Houston is for cowboys and southern gals, so why the hell a bunch of vampires (with no accent to speak of) suddenly wind up in there is beyond me. Where do they get off, thinking they drink blood in our city?
But actually, this is pretty accurate. Houston has much more to it than meets the eye (or someone might expect), and it's most certainly not uncommon for the parents and older relatives to have a noticeable "Texan-twang" while the kids sound like they came straight out of Middle America, USA. None of my friends have accents, and I certainly don't. But my mom has a very thick one, so go figure. I can't really explain that. Houston is also a lot more diverse than people think, both in terms of ethnicities and denominations/lifestyles/religions, etc. So sure, Vampires could live there, why not?
The movie entertains for a lot of the same reasons my other guilty pleasures do- it's just so stupid it's funny. And again, the movie doesn't attempt to take itself too seriously, so its hard to dislike it. I think the weirdest thing for me was the ending, where *SPOILER ALERT!!!* the kid stays a vampire and is accepted by his parents and girlfriend (it was probably a relief for his Texan parents who were under the impression the whole time that he might have been gay). Its not meant to be a depressing ending, but it is for me sorta because the kid has to go on living this crappy existence of drinking blood, only going out at night, and living forever to watch all of his friends get old and die.

But up until the ending, it's quite enjoyable and provides for me many lulz.

How to Make a Decent YouTube music video

Alright, so I'm sucking down my Dunkin' Donuts Hazelnut coffee(the sole force that will power me through this first day of the spring quarter) and thinking about how I need to soon go brush my teeth, get dressed, and catch the 9:18. However, I wanted to take a small moment out of my day, when I actually have the internet, to comment on a very serious matter prevalent in the YouTube community. This applies mostly to us nerds who like to make pairing videos for our favorite couples in certain nerdy fandoms, like Harry Potter, Disney, etc. The phenomenon I want to comment on occurs mostly with music videos that feature two crossover characters (Belle/Prince Eric, Ariel/Aladdin, etc.) or characters within the same fandom that, "canonly-speaking", have little to no chance ever getting together. The only thing I can say for those of you planning to make such a video is this-


This happens waaay too often in videos that would, otherwise, be excellent. I have never actually read GOOD in-vid subtitles and they all too often come off sounding really lame and corny. More often than not, the grammar will be horrifying and the dialogue will either be just lame or much too OOC.
"I really like you Eric," said Belle. "I like you so much, I think I may be in love with you."
"Oh belle! I love you too so much!"

This isn't a joke. It ruins a perfectly good video and is entirely superfluous as the storylines of most videos are evident from the way the clips are cut. However, this isn't enough for a lot of people, and so they choose the much wiser route of putting the storyline in the info box where people can read it separate from the video. Do this if you must,(although, speaking as a viewer, I can tell the story of a lot of videos without having to read the info box and wouldn't care if it was left out altogether. But whatever, it still gives some insight) just never, ever, ever, ever put dialogue and narration within the video. I am convinced that Tolstoy would fail at doing a good job of this, and that means that you, as a fifteen year old fan girl, will do a horrible, horrible job and ruin your hours of hardwork at making a decent video. 

Another thing, it would be nice to start seeing appropriate music choices. I realize that everyone's tastes are different, but a Garth Brooks/modern country music song simply does not fit in a Pirates of the Carribbean, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or even a Disney video. Also, it would be nice to see a minimization on songs from Switchfoot and Nickleback. There are plenty of good artists out there that will fit your video better than the first thing you hear on the radio on your way to work/school. Think, people, think.

The Art of Discussing Oneself

I'm really hovering into hypocrite territory with this entry, but I'd like to think that more than 50% of my journal is about things other than my personal life. In fact, I think I only have one or two entries devoted to said subject and even then its on fairly interesting occurrences(besides that one at the very beginning about finals for economics class or whatever). Maybe I'm still hypocrite. It doesn't really matter, because this is my blog and if I wanted to write the War and Peace of my life I'd be entitled to do so. This is an appropriate place for indulging such self-centric needs. 

What I came to rant about were those people who choose the not-so-appropriate venues for talking about oneself. I'm currently an avid member of a forum community(for what fandom is irrelevant) and we discuss the nerdy things about this one fandom we all like. There's a section of the message board where people can talk off-topic, specifically about the goings-on in their personal lives. It doesn't nescessarily state thats what one must discuss in the off-topic section, but thats what 75% of the postings are about. I was never this interested in this part of the forum, mainly because I couldn't give two shits about someone else's mudane issues. Yet, I've found myself scrolling through them lately, eyeing them until I die with boredom. Most of the people maintain some kind of self-respecting guard on their personal information. There's a reasonable limit to the amount and the nature of the information they'll release to the public.

There are some, however, who don't mind sharing the nitty-gritty.

I have one girl in mind, specifically. I know she's younger, probably around my age(maybe even older, yikes) who doesn't have the greatest spelling, grammar, or sentence structure skills in the world, which is probaby what initially peaked my distaste. In the intial purpose of the forum(which is to discuss our nerdy fandom) her thoughts/analyses are never very well thought out,  typically half-baked or basically a restatement of something someone else said. Or, if its an original thought, its something, like I said but in grittier terms, stupid.  I don't really like this person a whole lot, if you haven't gathered. But what really got me was the way she discussed her personal life.

I hate it when people discuss their life's goingson with an air of entitlement(is that the word I'm looking for?) as though they expect everyone to not only be enthralled with whatever it is they're saying, but already have a full understanding of who'swho, what happened with what person in the past, etc. This is the way she discusses things, giving constant updates on her pathetic life as if people really fucking care to know.

"Well Bobby broke up w/ me today, but im fine with that so long as he doesnt try to date Marissa. If he dated marissa id be soooo pissed! But mom said that like last time things dont always work out the way you want them to and im really starting to believe that esp. since  that episode with david last week..."

I kid you not, this could be a copied and pasted segment from one of her postings. Makes you want to pull clumps of hair from your head, doesn't it? The rest of the board, mostly composed of middle-aged parental types(yeah, don't bother asking me why) often comment back with sympathetic, mom-like answers that indicate they obviously don't empathize with this girl's conundrums with Billy(er, bobby. Whatev.), but feel a parental obligation to be tolerant and helpful. This seems to only feed the fire, and she mistakes their polite answers with intrigue. She'll also mention the most mundane and useless of things, as if we're all on pins and needles to hear about her latest haircut or run in with the unfriendly neighborhood dog or last bowel movement(ok, ok, I exagerrate, but I'm sure its only a matter of time). It really gets me, more so than any of the other uninteresting personal stories on the board because theres this expectation that everyone wants to hear what goes on in her pathetic life. And maybe most of them do. But this chick doesn't. This chick wants to smack that dumb bitch upside her face, Jerry Springer-style.

Theres also a young woman on my cooking class team(positive that shes older than me, even though she acts like she's 16) who loves digressing the topic onto herself. Infact, I've never talked to her about anything else when we've small-talked. I'll try to nudge the topic over to something more universal, something that we both can relate to, but she insists on relating it to some miniscule fact about her personal life. Conversationally, I can't do anything with that. When someone insists on talking about their own life, what can you do but nod your head or react with false enthusiasm towards the things they recount? Am I supposed to comment on someone in the story, agreeing with them on their opinion of that person, regardless of the fact I've never met them? 
I see it as a bit rude really, especially when some one in our team will start a sentence about how terrible their day was and she'll interrupt them(this time I'm not exaggerating) to say "You wouldn't believe how terrible my day was!"
The nerve. Its like she didn't learn proper conversation etiquette as a child and refused to acknowledge the occasions growing up when people would react negatively to her lack of tact. She's also quite bossy when we work, but thats another issue altogether.

I had always been taught, in the course of my growth and just in the course of my life, that when one wants to discuss oneself, its best if one can relate it to the other individuals in the conversation and keep the self-centric discussion to a minimum, even when asked about oneself. This is, of course, rules for conversation with individuals you don't know very well. Things are entirely different when you're with someone you trust, someone who's avidly involved with your social arena and truly cares for your personal needs.
One also never talks about the innermost personal goings on in one's life, unless explicitly invited to do so. For one, most people don't give an ass rat's about your personal issues, and for another, it can make people uncomfortable. They don't know you well enough to recieve this information properly and they can't really relate to it well, unless on the off-chance something similar is going on in their own life.

My rule of thumb? When meeting or having to talk with someone you don't know very well or don't have a lot of chemistry with, ask them about themselves. If this entry demonstrated anything, its that people love talking about themselves(I include myself in this, as I am a person. But my topics of selfcentric conversation do not include the deepest depths of my personal life. I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing this as freely with strangers as others do). With any luck, they'll share this knowledge and ask you about yourself as well, so that you can add an equal amount of feedback to the conversation. It seems people take kindlier to those who take an interest in them rather than themselves.

I'm sure as hell no expert, its just my observation.

A No Country for Old Men Evaluation

After having developed a huge interest in No Country, I decided to finally break down and watch the film. It initially looked thoroughly uninteresting to me, especially with the promise of gore, violence, and pessimism, but curiosity won over in the end. Though there were times when I found myself leaving the room to avoid watching a scene, I have to say that I found the whole thing deliciously perplexing. First of all, I loved how refreshing it was. There aren't too many movies that set themselves in 1980's West Texas, especially with the accuracy of the time period. There weren't people hopping around in big sweaters and leg-warmers. There's this confusion going on, as I've gathered there was in the early 80's, particularly in the south, of people not realizing its not the 70's anymore and still dressing as though it was. Like Anton's hair. Check any highschool senior photo from 1969-1975 and this is what you'll see.

Yeah, thats 100% legit, mang. All he's missing is some killer sideburns. But I digress.

The movie seems to revolve around the roles three men play in the fallout of a bad drug deal. There's Lewelyn Moss who happened across the site of the deal while hunting, and like (in my opinion) a fucking idiot, made off the with bag of money that he found. There's Sheriff Bell whos becoming progressively more overwhelmed by the less-innocuous West Texas of the 80's than that of the 50's or 40's, and then there's Anton Chigurh(the real reason anyone came to watch this movie) a mysterious hitman who seems to have motives of his own involving the money that are unclear. Infact, everything about Anton is unclear and thats what I plan to discuss.

After hashing it out with my fiancee, we came to the conclusion that this film (and book too, probably, but I haven't read it yet) has a huge Aesop-esque "moral of the story" thing to it. It also is a reminder of the immenence of fate, death, and the consequences for choices that we make in life. The moral probably is, in laments terms, to not get involved with drug dealing. But more generally, its probably don't let pride overtake reason. Don't let an over-inflated self-perception put you and the lives of your loved ones in danger.
Lewelyn Moss, for example, is a huge fuckin' idiot douche bag. Why? Because he sees himself as invincible. He doesn't recognize his mortality and thinks himself able to overcome anything. This is why he helps himself to the money- he feels that he's above consequence. He thinks he can take it and make off with it without answering to someone. He then gets in over his head and to the bitter end never admits to himself that he's royally fucked, that he's not going to win this one. This is why he doesn't urge Anton to spare Carla Jean and kill him. He's too proud to admit defeat. Lewelyn Moss is the symbol of the "invincible" mentality of youth, of an unawareness of one's mortality.

Sheriff Bell, on the other hand, represents an older age, a stage in one's life where imminent death becomes more prominent. He's having to recognize his mortality, which comes easier for him because he's grown out of youthful ignorance. He talks about a time when he lived with innocent ideals. Its not that he was ever big-headed, like Lewelyn, its that he's been sheriff of a mostly peaceful territory and it has made him slightly niave. He can't handle it when crazy, unexplainable things like Chigurh come into the picture and make him realize how much things have changed, how dangerous the world really is. But also, Chigurh represents Bell's imminent death growing closer. 

This brings me to Chigurh. A lot of folks who've seen the movie like to talk about Chigurh in very human terms. "He's a psychopath", "He has no mercy". And while this is all true and there are plenty of very real people out there who fit this description, I think the character of Chigurh is a bit more abstract, like an idea or a personification of something not physical at all. If you'll notice, the three men the movie revolves around never make contact with one another. Lewelyn and Chigurh engage in that gun battle, but niether one ever sees the other. Sheriff Bell never encounters Chigurh, but he finds traces of his presence that are left behind, almost like reminders.

In this movie poster/dvd cover, the three men are positioned strategically. Lewelyn is to the far left, which is where a sentence starts (in western writing) and signifies the beginning. Sheriff Bell is at the end of the line up, and Chigurh is inbetween them both and also the most prominent. He emerges out from them all in a very domineering, focal-point-ish way.
The point is, Chigurh is the physcial manifestation of fate and consequence. He's the face Lewelyn, Sheriff Bell, Carla Jean, the drug lords, etc. give to their fears. Sheriff Bell doesn't understand this new turn of events in West Texas, he can't comprehend the most twisted criminal acts, so he assigns these fears with one face, just because its easier to digest. Its hard for him to believe that more than one person could be responsible for these horrifying acts. Lewelyn knows that someone is after him, and while in reality it might be far more than one person (like every mexican drug lord in the world) its just his mindset that has to give it one face, one personage. He likes to think he can overcome one man on his own. The truth is, whats after him is far bigger than one man and he will not be able to overcome it.
Carson and the head drug lord talk about Anton Chigurh as though he were a certian individual, which he is and he isn't. He's every ruthless drug pusher out there who would stop at nothing to achieve the money. He's the consequence for getting involved in a merciless world. He's inevitable fate that can't be stopped (even with a bullet wound in the leg).

Its also easier to think of Chigurh as a human because in this way, he seems more ephemeral. Its the mindset of, "If we can contain this son of a bitch, then we can contain evil and things will be simpler." Not so. If one will notice, Chigurh was not the one that killed Lewelyn in the end, and he never got the money either, which we all thought he was after. I think Chigurh's motives transcend drug money because he transcends human nature. He's out for the money because he represents every merciless drug pusher(like I said) that will stop at nothing to get it, but he doesn't want the money because he's more than a person. He's the consequence you pay for selfishly entering a world of violence and the fate you can't escape. 
The end scene with Carla Jean is an example of what happens to the innocent loved ones of some one who lives a life of drug pushing, or anything dangerous like that. She tells Chigurh that he doesn't have to hurt her and that he has no cause to. Its up to him after all, not some quarter. But Chigurh, being more than a human entity, explains that the coin has just as much of legitimate say as he would. He and the coin both arrived here by fate and chance, and whatever decision the coin makes would be just as valid as his own. He made a promise to Lewelyn to hold Carla Jean accountable for his behavior- which is often the promise that is given to people who enter a dangerous world, not by a physical killer perse, but by the likelihood of the world.

Anyway, I'm beginning to exhaust myself. I think this gave a pretty good idea of my interpretation of things.

I'm Not Having Fun Anymore

I used to be really into the idea of "roughing it". Especially in my rather cushy suburban life, where money was never a huge concern. My parents were both teachers, so its not like we were rolling in the buxx, they were just extremely frugal and saved every penny, so we ended up being very financially-secure. Secure enough that we could live in this really big two-story house and by brand-name foods. When I was little and my parents were still young and poor, we couldn't do that so much.
While I like being able to buy cool stuff, I also like the idealistic romance of a bohemian life. Like cute, patchy clothes, making things from scratch, being rustic, living in humble cottages, etc. When I heard about the economy being in turmoil, I got kind of excited. I imagined we'd all start living our lives like little hippy-hobbits. Everything would be happier, simpler, less materialistic. Kids would play out-doors more often, dads would hunt down dinner, moms would sew and do laundry at the stream, pounding the clothes on a rock. We'd have to start growing and raising our own food. It would be awesome.
The reality? I'm stuck in cold, cloudy Seattle with no job and only eating because I'm bumming money off of my parents. My favorite stores are closing left and right, my jeans are starting to rip and decay and I can't replace them. Meanwhile, I'm working my way through culinary school (which I adore) to go on to entreprenueral studies, thusly setting myself up to be the most susceptible to a choppy economy. This isn't fun anymore. I want off the ride.
Somebody fix this damn economy before I lose my mind.

Why Keep Shit When You Can Make a Profit?

Yayy I found something else to write about! I love it when I see something that makes me want to rant and rave. Once more, I found this on Yahoo!News
Baseball Granny cashes in with sale of rare 1869 card

First off, let me just say that this is the woman I hope to be when I get older. Not only because she made a nice amount of moolah, but because she looks really crazy and fun to be around. Thats the kinda grandma I'm going to be.

Anyway, the story really hit on a strong opinion I have about antiques. Anyone who's ever watched Antiques Roadshow knows that anywhere from 98% of the population has a fortune just waiting for them to cash in the form of a four hundred year old stool, doll, something else completely inconsequential, etc. People come on the show, get the item evaluated, and find out that its worth thousands of dollars, only to laugh and say, "Oh well I'd never sell this!"


No matter what the item is and how useless it might be- they're keeping it, goddammit. It maybe worth a million dollars, but its' their million dollar crap and no one else's.

Some antiques are, understandably, unsellable. Like your great great great grandfather's sword from the civil war, or any family heirloom with sentimental value. There are just some things one can't part with. I understand that completely.

But seriously, a small, two-hundred year old metal basket you found at the bottom of a cardboard box at a garage sale that's worth more than your car? Sell that shit, don't keep it just because you like the way it compliments your living room. Are you fucking crazy?

My parents- my dear, sweet, beloved parents- are the same way. My mom loves getting rid of my crap, but she'll be dead before she auctions off any of our antiques. We have this small piece of ship from the 1600's, rumored to be that of the mayflower or something ridiculous like that. Its a petrified plank of wood (love the alliteration), that could go for god knows how much, if authenticated. Right now, its sitting on our mantle in all it's wooden insignificance, doing nothing for no one. It's not even a family heirloom, as we were given it by someone outside the family. My parents wouldn't sell this useless thing for all the cash in the world. If I ever inherit it, however, I'm definitely auctioning up that hoe. What good is a fucking plank of four-hundred year old wood besides having the authority to say, "Hey, I've got a piece of the Mayflower on my mantle."

This lady is no fool. What good is a two hundred year old baseball card to anyone besides a museum? In this economy, one needs all the money one can get. I say, sell the useless crap! We can't afford to be pack-rats in this time of turmoil. 

The Beginning of A Beautiful Friendship

This is an important moment in the nerdy aspect of my life- the marriage of my livejournal and fanfiction.net account!

I decided to go ahead and link this journal as my homepage for reasons that I haven't entirely worked out. Perhaps its because up until now this journal was largely a private endeavor, and I decided to make it more public for those who might like to read my sporadic thoughts, ramblings, and rants. Perhaps also I wanted to use it as a place to update the status of my stories and elaborate on my stories in terms of meaning, symbolism, etc for those who care to know. I'm not really sure. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I suppose the proof will be in the pudding.

As the first post since the linking, I guess I'll go ahead and give an example of what I'll be doing more of in the future (in addition to random rants and ramblings).

The three stories I have up right now are the following, as you can see from my FF.Net page-
She's A Real Lady  
Cupid's Chokehold
Where Sea Winds Blow

She's A Real Lady- Postponed Indefinitely I haven't so much as glanced at this story since sometime in November. I've recently come to a loss of ideas for the plot. I know where I'm going, I just don't know how to get there. I'm also not super-happy with it the way it is, but I see it too tedious to try to rewrite it. Plus, my readers seem to like it the way it is, so I don't know if that would be the answer. My interest and inspiration has also dwindled, which doesn't help. I'm definitely not writing off this story completely, but it is most certainly on the back-burner. Who knows? I might get a flash of creativity at some point and finish this bad boy off. Or at least add another chapter.

Cupid's Chokehold- Possibly Updated Soon This one is not so much of a loss of creativity as it is a loss of motivation. I nearly have the next chapter finished and I know entirely where I'm going and how I'm going to get there. I just haven't felt like adding to it lately. Maybe if WCMI hurries up and adds another chapter I will too.

Where Sea Winds Blow Will be Updated Shortly Despite the lack of interest this story has been generating, I'm super into it. I've been mulling over this story line for sometime and so I'm thrilled to be finally breathing some life into it. I'm really into the pairing I'm working with too, and though its meant to be a surprise for those who read, I might just breakdown and list who I'm putting Anamaria with in the summary so that it might draw more people. I might also change the summary/direction of the story so that it focuses on both of them rather than just her. That might intrigue more people, now that I think about it.

Thats all for now! 

Pirates of the Crap-a-bean

Like the title? I think its sinisterly clever.

Anyway, I don't dislike Pirates. Let me make that unwaveringly clear. Infact, some might might say I love Pirates. I'm a loyal Johnny Depp fan and the plot of the trilogy intrigues me to no end. But that's probably because I CAN'T FUCKING FOLLOW IT. Which leads me into part of my rant this morning. First off, that the two pirate moves following "The Curse" (especially World's End) are fucked up, and I assure you that I will explain why. But also, I've got to get something off my chest thats been bothering me since the second movie.

Elizabeth looks and acts like a spoiled, underfed eunuch hooker. Yes, I admit it, I hated the Elizabeth from the last two movies for numerous reasons. And here I was thinking I had grown out of petty imaginary character contempt. Apparently not.
Now, I did like the Elizabeth from the Curse of the Black Pearl. Kiera Knightley apparently hadn't started sticking the nob-end of her toothbrush down her throat and still had her natural hair (not those ridiculous, fake looking extensions with a few fronds of her "real" hair sticking out from her stupid tricorn hat). She was, in all regards, beautiful. (If you can get past her bulldog-ish underbite)

"Elizabeth, it should be a dress for you or nothing at all."
Jack said it best. Now, that isn't to say that I'm condoning the concept of a "woman's rightful place". Its just that I think the whole concept of Elizabeth becoming more "like the boys" was blown a little out of proportion. Of course, it reached ridiculous heights when Sao Feng named her the Pirate Lord and she then, inadvertently, became the Pirate "King". What-the-fuck-ever, not a movie ago she was fainting to get the attention of three men, and tongue wrestling with Jack. You can't have your cake and eat it too, sweetie.
Which brings me to another point- Elizabeth's increased whorishness throught the remainder of the trilogy. Now, undoubtably, they were trying to increase our respect and admiration of Elizabeth by making her accomplish all of these amazing things that, formerly, were male-dominated. But how, in gods name, is anyone expected to look up to her when she continues to play Will against Jack, fully succumbing to the expectations of how a priviledged governor's daughter ought to act- as though she were entitled to every thing and every penis that rises for her.
And every guy in the movie seemed to have hard-on for the bitch! In The Curse, it was more of the pirates joking around (everyone knows they're all gay, anyway) and taunting her to make her feel uncomfortable- like Barbossa trying to grope her when really he just wanted to get off to the sight of someone eating(could have been anyone. Hell, it could have Mr. Gibbs and it wouldn't have made a difference).

Alright, and heres another point- The whole, half-baked Jack/Elizabeth subplot. In The Curse, we knew Elizabeth hadn't yet wedged her head up her sphincter and was in-love with Will. Jack, being the philandering, whoremongering drunk that he is, unsurprisingly hit on Elizabeth. But we got the feeling that he flirted with and banged a lotta women, so this wasn't a bit story complex, really. The fact that Jack probably just wanted to take a crack at Elizabeth's crack never changed, but the script writers wanted us to believe otherwise by the end of the 3rd movie. Had Jack fallen in love with Elizabeth? OMG!
No. Not unless the character of Jack was replaced with a sappy, eunchy loser like Will or Norrington (not that I dislike either of those characters. Infact, I love both of those characters. I just find Jack's cynical response to their behavior refreshing). Elizabeth does not, nor never did, have what it takes to win any kind of real affection from Jack. In a theortetical context, if Jack was ever going to love, he'd need somebody of equal pretense. He'd need someone who cared as little about him as he did about her/him and was as unwilling to fall in love as he is. Elizabeth, basically, has her legs spread for whoever wants to come in and play. Which is ideal for Jack's philandering side. But what do all of these ar-tarded Sparrabeth fans think would happen in Jack and Elizabeth ever fornicated?  That Jack would have been there in the morning with breakfast for her?
Heh. Think again. Elizabeth is just another slice of booty to him, and she and Jack/Elizabeth fans would do well to realize this.

So whats the answer to our Elizabeth woes?

Thats right. The sexy, dominican Anamaria.

A lot of the things that Elizabeth did in the last two movies would have made alot more sense if they had been done by this lady. Anamaria should have been in the last two movies, kicking ass and taking names, while Elizabeth continued to trail around in her bustle, screaming. I loved Elizabeth for that. I loved Anamaria for being the "strong woman" figure.
Now why she was left out is beyond me. I remember someone suggesting that maybe it was because Tia Dalma was introduced, and it would have been confusing to have two black women.
Yes, heaven forbid we should have two lead women, let alone black women. Maybe if Barrack Obama was president at the time they would have casted Anamaria in a larger role.

But what would happen to the compass subplot? Well, did anyone notice that said subplot was never resolved anyway? We never did find out why the compass kept pointing to Jack, or if Elizabeth truly preferred herpes and whisky breath over a man who loved her. In my opinion, we would have done well without this subplot, as well as the countless other plots that were NEVER FUCKING RESOLVED. In the third movie, everyone was too busy making ejaculatory special effects and having characters making "deals" with other characters that were honored, weren't honored, etc, that so much left hanging from movie 2 was left hanging, like a corpse from a noose. 
Why was Beckett interested in Elizabeth? Did he have hard-on for her too? When did Will's balls drop off and make him not ever stand up to his whore of a fiancee? Who made what deal with whom? How many characters are in this movie anyway?

It doesn't matter, because we're the writers and we got tired of those other plots ages ago. Its time to move on to bigger and better things. Much like me, because I'm tired of writing.